Fellow 1: "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
A man walks into the Toys-R-Us and says to the clerk, "Could you please show me your Barbie dolls?" She says, "Certainly, sir. Over here, we have Fashion Barbie for $15.95, Vacation Barbie for $15.95, Housewife Barbie for $15.95 and...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
A man called the doctor's office and says that his wife has the flu and needs an appointment. The receptionist replied that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that he could have an...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
After an extensive battery of tests, the 80-year-old meets with his doctor to discuss the results. "I'm afraid I have two pieces of rather bad news," says the doctor, "First, you have inoperable cancer." "Oh my god," says the patient,...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
A man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, "Yes sir, may we help you?" "There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became aggravated and said, "You shouldn't come into...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
There were four men in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room whose wives were in labor. The nurse came out and announced to the first father, "Congratulations, you have twins!" "What a coincidence," said the father. "I work for the Minneapolis...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. Greeting him the Lord says, "You've lived a good life. If there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know."...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
A friend had a brilliant idea for saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they'd take up less room. The he told me: "I was with another friend. she thought...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
A friend had a brilliant idea for saving disk space. He thought if he put all his Microsoft Word documents into a tiny font they'd take up less room. The he told me: "I was with another friend. she thought...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Rte 280....
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
Fred Abernathy was a devoted reader of the obituary column of his local paper. All of Fred's friends knew of this habit, so one day they decided to play a trick on him by placing his name and picture in...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
There once was a painter who was very stingy. At every opportunity he would add turpentine to the paint, thinning it down as much as possible, thereby cutting his costs. One day, he was hired to paint the steeple high...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
JENNIFER LOPEZ: "May I try on the skirt in the window?" Shopkeeper: "No! You will have to use the dressing room like everybody else."...
Wed, 29 Jun 2005 12:27:21 CDT
